<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/article_images%2FLove%20and%20Let%20go_1.jpg?alt=media&amp;token=f2e91140-46c7-419c-bf2d-3fc16ef99a63" alt="File preview" width="740" height="490" />&nbsp; Someone asks you, what is love? And if you start humming in your mind‼ Oh, baby, don&rsquo;t hurt me, don&rsquo;t hurt me, no more‼; then you are born in the 80s or the 90s. The song &ldquo;What is love?&rdquo; recorded by Trinidadian-German Eurodance artist Haddaway from 1993, was a massive hit in at least 13 countries. The catchy lyrics and the nostalgic music of this song are still discussed when a question arises about love. We look at love in terms of happiness. We do not think that love can be risky. Our intentions and expectations are, &ldquo;To love and to be loved&rdquo; - yet in a relationship, we might not be loved back or receive all the love we want, but the relationship would have turned sour. So, what next? <h4>&ldquo;If you love something so much, let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be; if it, doesn&rsquo;t it never was&rdquo; &ndash; Albert Schweitzer</h4> Letting go is an abrupt answer but is it that easy? Considering the time invested in the relationship and the bond developed over the years, letting a relationship go when it turns sour causes extreme distress. Sometimes, giving it a chance does work. The difficult decision is when to give the relationship another chance and when to let it go. Love is a matter of the heart, not the mind. When a relationship goes south, it is time to use our intelligence instead of relying on emotions. Let us first learn about relationships based on the types of love. There are three: 1.One-Sided Love Love is blind; maybe this is why some fall in love mindlessly with someone who will not reciprocate. You may fall in love with a person and never express your feelings. Or you express but face rejection. In both cases, you continue to love the person. The reason for refusal could be plenty &ndash; another lover, not the right type, commitment issues, etc. nonetheless, the love does not recede once it catches on. We need to understand that this love is real, and so is the suffering of rejection in one-sided love. 2.Mutual Love A dream relationship is one where the love is mutual, an understanding based on the bond you develop, and respect for the other&rsquo;s personal - time and goals. Though it sounds so simple and easy, it is difficult in practice. The word &ldquo;personal&rdquo; does not go well with people who think they own their partners. This type of relationship requires the sacrifice of ego, possessiveness, and expectations. Nevertheless, this is the type of love for a long-living relationship. &nbsp;<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/article_images%2FLove%20and%20Let%20go_2.jpg?alt=media&amp;token=3bcf9885-5e58-4873-911d-1c90afcf4071" alt="File preview" width="400" height="508" /> 3.Toxic Love It takes two people to make a toxic relationship work. One partner will be selfless and will give everything to make the relationship work. The other is selfish to satisfy their insecure needs. In this love, the toxic person feels that only their needs are important. The other partner deeply cares and silently suffers without letting them go. <h2>When to let go?</h2> <h4>&ldquo;Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go&rdquo; &ndash; Hermann Hesse</h4> &nbsp;In one-sided love, there is no such thing as letting go, right? There is nobody to let go of. So, what should you let go of? &nbsp;You expressed your feelings, and they rejected them, dreams shattered, despite that your love remains intact. You enjoy the melancholy of rejection and become an amateur poet; with the hope that someday that person will realise your love. You start seeing life differently - a life of nothingness; that nothingness can be seen in your behaviour &ndash; uninterested, unimpressed. Not healthy. &nbsp;You need to let go of the emotions of love and stubborn feelings. Forgetting is not easy, but the future awaits you. Living in the past does not help. Get over your hangover of rejected love and make an effort to move forward. &nbsp;Letting go in a mutual relationship. Why? Sometimes even a perfect relationship can turn bitter. It could be due to lack of time, misunderstanding, or loss of intimacy (all due to too much time and focus on personal goals). Couples get divorced even after more than ten years of marriage. Look at the recent divorces between the Bezos&rsquo; and the Gates&rsquo;. &nbsp;In this case, letting go is not the only option, but giving another chance will help revive the relationship. It may take years to fix the relationship, but it is an excellent option to give several chances as mutual love existed in the past, and the external factors causing problems can be fixed. Letting go should only be taken as a last resort. <h4>&ldquo;It is better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else&rdquo; &ndash; Phil McGraw.</h4> &nbsp;<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/article_images%2FLove%20and%20Let%20go_3.jpg?alt=media&amp;token=3efe483d-673e-444d-83b4-cb8304af65a7" alt="File preview" width="400" height="599" /> Awareness is foremost. A toxic person carefully chooses a partner who can tolerate the toxic relationship. That person confuses you with a strange behaviour - being toxic at times and then covering it with expressions of love. Their expressions sound so true that you tend to ignore the abuse and dishonesty (signs of toxic relationship) initially. You believe that the toxic person is the victim in this relationship, questioning your integrity.&nbsp; When the toxicity takes a toll on you, you decide to let go, but you cannot. You give several chances for the toxic person to set the relationship right. Nothing changes. It becomes unbearable, and the relationship turns into a nightmare.&nbsp; It is a predator and prey relationship. Giving another chance is not an option. They cannot change. They chose you for a reason, to use you as an emotional punch bag. Toxic people do not know if they are harmful, as they will never feel that their actions are wrong&mdash;no use in waiting for the person to change. If there were love, there would be no toxicity at any point in time.&nbsp;&nbsp; This understanding will help you push yourself to let go of the relationship. Remember, your happiness also matters and is the most important only for you. Relationships are complicated, and it all depends on the love and bond you develop over the years. Knowing when to hold on and when to let go makes all the difference in a successful relationship. Identify what type of relationship that you want and take action accordingly.&nbsp;

Love and Let Go

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.161193954580007181633615317912%2Fimage22.webp?alt=media&token=894fae82-c250-47f9-8085-84bfb40887d2" alt="File preview" width="700" /> The other day I was on Instagram during a break, looking through my followers&rsquo; stories. I realized I was flipping past them so quickly, without even reading or watching what was in them. Because I knew &ndash; I thought. I knew it was the same bunch of posts everywhere, on everyone&rsquo;s stories and tweets and the news. I stopped to watch a short video of people clinging to an aircraft with all their might as it took off from Kabul with gunshots and bombings in the background. Another one showed a mother with her baby, running for shelter from long rifles while being kicked out of her own house. Yet another one had terrified animals with ash covering most of their fur, tired after escaping a wildfire. I knew such disturbing&nbsp;news was on a loop, and that&rsquo;s why I skipped them mindlessly &ndash; I thought so. But did I really know why these scenarios deserved attention and what it is to live through them? Sharing hashtags on social media platforms with captions like &ldquo;Where is humanity?&rdquo; &ldquo;Pray for *place*&rdquo;, &rdquo;Justice for *name*&rdquo; and sighing or frowning over media posts do show we are sorry about what is happening around us. Sympathy has been checked. But what&rsquo;s to be held accountable for the part where we find such news &ldquo;disturbing&rdquo;? The fact that I have the freedom to sit back and judge the issue, regardless of being majorly unaware of it and distant from it, is a privilege. That I can stay relaxed within my home while choosing what to post on my feed, with good food and family around me, is a privilege. &ldquo;I would like to introduce the concept of &lsquo;peace privilege&rsquo; to refer to people who have lived in peaceful contexts all their lives and cannot truly grasp and empathize with what it means to live in a conflict.&rdquo; - Cristal Palacios&rsquo; tweeted. It was when the conflict in Venezuala got overwhelming and received a wide array of judgment from people who were hasting to make one. Her tweet has been recognized and published in several articles written on peace; because it has spat plain facts. It is our privilege that is helping us tune into music to cancel the noise around us. How often do we make a conscious check on our privileges? Are we aware that our privilege could one day turn into a plight? Sympathizing through a sigh or wondering why the world is so cruel isn&rsquo;t all we can do. &lsquo;The bad is there to balance out the good,&rsquo; &lsquo;It&rsquo;s just meant to be&rsquo; &ndash; you may hear some fortunate person comment. But do they realize that one day they could be the ones getting oppressed? Even after beholding all the bombings upon innocent children, disasters swallowing land and human alike, political instabilities showing their variants of cruelty, and world leaders choosing corruption over conservation, can we justify that our sighs and easy-to-pass remarks equal empathy? Is that all we can do? Or are we deliberately not trying further? Sympathy is easy for many of us. It is easy because it comes from a position of power. You just have to feel &ldquo;bad&rdquo; for those living in conditions inferior to you. But empathy &ndash; that is getting down on your knees and looking someone who has been through all the awful moments, in the eye and realizing that you could be them and that all that separates you is mere luck. When luck leaves your side, what will stop you from being one of them in the future? Things get uglier when we gather the audacity to pass comments about these sensitive issues without even being aware of the nature of conflict behind them. Some of us go in search of clarity. But media, to which many of us reach out for information, displays only a foiled layer of the mayhem. Why? Because it is somebody else&rsquo;s voice that we hear. And it is a much simplified one. We tend to simplify the issues, which brings us to invalidating the severely traumatic experience people are suffering, neglecting reality, and choosing to stay ignorant because we think these bring negativity. Imagine your pain being dismissed because others think what&rsquo;s hurting you is hurting them more when it has not even brushed past them. Again, it is a privilege to refer to such news as &lsquo;negativity.&rsquo; Being regularly exposed to such information can take a toll on your mental peace, agreed. But if it hurts you just to watch it on a screen, sitting miles away from the people struggling to live every day in their lives, imagine how reality would be taking a toll on them!. We are turning away from such news because they somehow make us vulnerable &ndash; to question our comforts in life. We are escaping guilt &ndash; one that makes us scorn for being privileged while there are spots on our very globe crying for help. It seems like our sighs are a mixture of pity and guilt. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.161193954580007181633615317912%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=927a08c8-6f69-4cb3-ac7c-acb6b2de23c6" alt="File preview" width="700" /> We, who consider it daunting even to review distressing interactions on social media, indeed do not have the right to act as a voice for the less fortunate and the oppressed. The devastation and resilience encountered can be brought to life and justified if they are voiced by those who lived through it. Everything about media seems to be transient and prone to misunderstanding. Someone like you or me, who is privileged enough to write or read this article, being able to use technology at its best without any intervention in our day-to-day lives, cannot be their voice. Why? Because we aren&rsquo;t the ones living their lives. The oppressed need a voice. And that needs to be their own. We should grow into people who value empathy and not ones who make up our minds by drawing plain conclusions about an issue simply from effortless understanding. Remember, the reality is always bigger! If we are privileged enough to think about peace, we can indeed create more of it.

What does peace mean for the privileged?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.048438063517993961630902440187%2FProcrastination_1.webp?alt=media&token=8f9134e8-755b-402a-b71f-653b2809f51f" alt="File preview" width="400" height="601" />There are times when staring at a blank wall is interesting. And mostly, these are times when your desk nearby with its papers, sticky notes, and laptop screams for your attention. As much as you want to sit staring at the wall, which is not even the part with the pictures on it, but just white paint, your desk won&rsquo;t let you grant its opponent all the attention you wish to. You keep denying your desk&rsquo;s call, but you also don&rsquo;t feel so good about your response. It drives you into a battle between the rebel in you not wanting to sit at the desk for work vs the work itself. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s okay. Everybody procrastinates&rdquo;, you would think as you turn your eyes back at the wall.&nbsp;The term procrastination has been so often used for any scenario where critical work is not given enough importance that it has become a metonym for laziness. We closely associate it with one&rsquo;s inability to manage time, lack of willpower, and the like. But is it the paucity of your time management skills that keeps you hanging indefinitely between responsibility and your action? Procrastination indeed looks like a regulation issue. But what if it isn&rsquo;t about the regulation of time but of your emotions instead?Tim Pychyl, an associate professor of psychology at Carleton University, believes that &ldquo;Procrastination is not a time-management problem, it&rsquo;s an emotion-management problem.&rdquo; In his book &lsquo;Solving the Procrastination Puzzle,&rsquo; he defines procrastination as &ldquo;a voluntary delay of an intended act despite the knowledge that this delay may harm us.&rdquo; As much clarity and truth it holds, this very definition is also one of something that is against human nature. We are inclined to seek satisfaction and happiness and perform deeds that bring us closer to these. Why would you sense danger and still choose to delay your tasks if ticking them off your list is what would make you happy? There could be times where even after allotting a specific slot of your day for a task, you do not find yourself doing it very efficiently.Though time management plays a crucial role in meeting deadlines, it is not the only reason someone slacks off. When properly looked into, procrastination doesn&rsquo;t look like a problem with your time management. Instead, it seems like an emotion-focused coping strategy, wherein your inner critic comes into play. Self-judgment naturally follows, but you should channel it tastefully such that you move forward, offering self-compassion rather than questioning your abilities and sinking in guilt.As Pychyl says, &ldquo;to the extent that I can deal with my emotions, I can stay on task,&rdquo; handling your emotions is essential for working, regardless of how petty it sounds.Gathering ideas to overcome procrastination often results in rumination and self-loathing, taking us further away from the solution. But what is &lsquo;the&rsquo; solution? It is unreasonable to expect to find a single solution to such a complex issue as procrastination. The cause and resolution are not the same for everyone. What could be possible reasons behind this issue that becomes a &lsquo;suffering&rsquo; in the long run?<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.048438063517993961630902440187%2FProcrastination_2.webp?alt=media&token=569ee435-64b8-4434-969a-19d1fe29692b" alt="File preview" width="739" height="492" />Another psychologist named Piers Steel from the University of Calgary wrote a paper called &lsquo;The Nature of Procrastination: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review of Quintessential Self-Regulatory Failure&rsquo;, wherein he reported four major possible causes of procrastination:i) Low Self Confidence: Your willingness to do a task is likely to drop if you are not confident enough about the process and outcome. Being afraid of your inability to meet your expectations and those from others is a cue for your procrastination to rise. Reduce negative self-talk, as this will add layers to your anxiety. Forgive yourself if you make mistakes, but more importantly, appreciate yourself for every move you make.ii) Pleasure derived from the task: It's less probable that you&rsquo;ll delay a task if it's exciting or rewarding enough. The boredom associated with the task plays a higher role than its difficulty in foreseeing the level of procrastination. When you don&rsquo;t feel like working on something, try to find what could be holding you back. Face your negative thoughts related to the task at hand, don&rsquo;t try to run away.iii) Distractibility: Sometimes, it could be that you want to finish a task, but your environment hinders your focus and forces you to do otherwise. Putting away things that are likely to distract you and finding a new domain or modifying your present one to suit yourself will help you stay focused on completing the task.iv) Relaxed deadlines: It's pretty natural to want to take more leisure time before starting a task when you know there is enough time to do it. Doing so might be helpful to relax if carefully worked on, but procrastination usually takes over, dominates, and makes you haste in the last moment. To manage a distant deadline, break it down into smaller deadlines and tackle them every day. Train yourself to finish the work first, and enjoy the remaining time as leisurely as you want.Other factors like denial of consequences and rebelliousness do support these causes.Bringing in some math to his theory, Steel has put the above coworking factors in the form of an equation. The product of your self-confidence and the pleasure from the task, divided by the product of your distractibility and time till deadline, gives your chances of not procrastinating on your task. In simpler terms, the first two factors need to be increased, while the latter two need to be decreased to improve your productivity.People procrastinate differently. The key is to identify your vulnerability and work on it. Hence, this equation can only be used as a guide and not as the final solution to solve the issue. Keep tuning these factors and the others that support them until you are satisfied with the level of mental and situational comfort.Do not see procrastination as a personality problem. It is only an inner critic trying to talk to you. So listen, and communicate through actions!

Procrastination - What is it trying to tell you?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.49405824429971371628614727299%2FGrounding%20through%20Art_Aashiqa_1.webp?alt=media&token=f58cb8e9-af1a-46c2-a803-98365faa2176" alt="" width="477" height="716" />You wouldn't feel anxiety if you were indeed in the present moment.&nbsp;"If you feel anxiety or depression, you are not in the present. You are either anxiously projecting the future or depressed and stuck in the past." &ndash; Tobe Hanson, Performance Coach and Author of 'The Four Seasons Way of Life.'Consider a ball of yarn. When let a little loose from one end, such that the yarn can roll out as a single strand, the ball continues to release more free thread with every turn it takes on the other end. The strand does not take a singular straight path. Some parts of it fall upon others, looping and piling at times until the whole ball disappears &ndash; into a messy pile of yarn. It is cumbersome to roll it back into the ball it was before the fall. To bring it back to exactly like it was &ndash; impossible!How are our minds any different from such a ball of yarn? It's not uncommon to find ourselves zoning out at times, imagining scenarios that do not help our inner peace. All minds don't react the same way; many factors could have swayed an individual's growth and development, influencing the mind. Some minds are more stable than others and co-operate reasonably to regain the lost focus. Some minds tend to slip ahead, strand out quicker and more easily than the others, making it difficult to recollect the misplaced focus. The latter is how the minds of anxious people work.&nbsp; Their thoughts and feelings add up, one upon the other, similar to a string, forming a heap that's disturbing as well as indiscernible.Some people have to keep doing something 'efficient', which captures their focus because their minds are like slippery and quick-rolling balls of yarn that clutter, when let even a little loose. When the mind goes abuzz with such overwhelming chaos, the breath goes out of rhythm and continues to remain so until the person finally notices his jaws clenched and shoulders tensed. A heavy sigh follows, trying to get the breath pattern back. Imagine this happening every day, multiple times even. Isn't it hard when we take a long time to realize that we need to get ourselves back to the present? Well, the damage would have been done already.<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.49405824429971371628614727299%2FGrounding%20through%20art_Aashiqa_2.webp?alt=media&token=79f3f276-bcbe-4cc3-8e74-f3e0aa8a548b" alt="" width="763" height="508" />It gets easier to tackle this problem through 'grounding.' What is grounding, and what can you do to ground yourself?&nbsp;In simple words, grounding refers to activities, at times, as simple as breathing, that help coax your mind to realize that you are in the present and be aware of your surroundings, the environment, and your feelings within. There are a variety of grounding techniques that professionals suggest. One of them is Therapy through Art!Art and Grounding:Our minds are naturally searching for creativity and ways of expressing. Art is synonymously associated with creativity and hence is indeed a medium of grounding. It has been practiced professionally and proven to be a valid grounding route, introducing a whole field called 'Art Therapy' that integrates the disciples of Art and Psychology.&nbsp; It is now widely accepted and implemented worldwide in schools, hospitals, military bases, and personal therapy plans.As a therapy method, Art Therapy is considered the most convenient of all, since one can practice it regardless of age, without needing any licensed guidance. The goal is to be more aware, satisfied, and to find joy in the process.Following is how Art helps the mind:<ul> <li> It calms the nervous system:</li></ul>One of the most impressive benefits of art therapy is an instant feeling of calmness. From what could be because of patterns, colors, swirls of paint, and synchronized hand movement, the noise inside the mind quiets down, lightening the muscles in the body and syncing one's breath and heartbeat. We attain clarity of thoughts consequently, allowing one to take in the reality of their situation, resolve inner conflicts, and to be free of any worries.<ul> <li> It increases Self- Awareness:</li></ul>When we offer an outlet to one's vulnerability, self-awareness follows. Often while painting, drawing, or engaging in any Art, one's creativity is exhibited in such a way that it is associated with their emotions. What is expressed without finds its roots within. This way, by focusing on creativity, one focuses on their subconscious feelings and discovers new aspects of their character.<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.49405824429971371628614727299%2FGrounding%20through%20art_Aashiqa_3.webp?alt=media&token=fcfe5b33-662f-48c9-aa88-a276e344e9a3" alt="" width="764" height="502" /><ul> <li>&nbsp;It encourages creative Self-Expression:</li></ul>For those who struggle with anxiety, understanding feelings, or handling emotions, Art can serve as a safe platform to express things they may otherwise find extremely hard to share. Whether done individually or with a therapist's aid, the artist will find compassion in the process for themself to express constructively and creatively. Expressing in this manner would help them feel deeply, acknowledge and inspect their various emotions.The next time you feel like you may slip into unnecessary thinking, grab a book, some colored pencils, paint, or markers. Unleash whatever your mind proposes. Embrace the inner child in you, and grant credits to your mind, body, and soul for being able to produce your hidden self so beautifully. You'll look at your hands, find them messy and yet, smile.

Grounding through Art – In search of the present

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.7928762051668031631036323697%2FLOVE%20A%20CAREFUL%20CHOICE%20OR%20AN%20UNCONTROLLABLE%20EMOTION_1.webp?alt=media&token=9d319240-a5ea-4f70-bb9c-1222231fb7f0" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />Friedrich Nietzsche quoted once, "There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." Love. Some call it a mere chemical reaction, while some prefer being more hearts-and-flowers with the definition. Others may even call it a daunting mission that sucks the life out of them. But I am not here to define love; as it is not as simple as people try to make it. What intrigued me was this question- is love a conscious choice or an uncontrollable feeling? Post hours of research and intense contemplation, here's what I discovered.Falling in love is easy; it happens almost so inadvertently that it requires little effort. New relationships are rosy and joyful, and people constantly think about their partners and wish to spend time with them. However, this "honeymoon phase" fades, leaving people questioning their relationships and chemistry. That is when the question of love being a choice or a feeling surfaces.&nbsp;First, let us look at love as a feeling. After all, you "feel" something from within during those first few interactions. The butterflies in your stomach, the daydreaming, and that rush when you see them- those are all beautiful feelings and seldom conscious choices. But feelings usually fade, and this stands true for relationships. Such sentiments are unreliable and transient, and their retreat causes doubts and distress. These feelings also leave people stuck in toxic relationships and prevent them from quitting damaging bonds. Ask any couple who has been together for a few decades, and they will confirm that it isn't just "feelings" that kept them together. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.7928762051668031631036323697%2FLOVE%20A%20CAREFUL%20CHOICE%20OR%20AN%20UNCONTROLLABLE%20EMOTION_2.webp?alt=media&token=056cec42-2e49-460f-8dc4-c0932224b59f" alt="File preview" width="701" height="468" />Then why do people believe that love is a choice? People choose to continue loving their partners. They are determined to look beyond or accept their partner's flaws. They make up their minds to love their better half every day, regardless of their feelings. But seeing love as a choice isn't always ideal. Humans need their choices and decisions to be right all the time. They think that their partners should also "choose" to be perfect, as everything is ultimately a choice. However, with matters of the heart, things aren't that simple. It is almost as unrealistic as telling someone to "chill" and them chilling instantly.&nbsp;Seeing love as merely a choice also invalidates the struggles of those stuck in toxic or abusive relationships. People look at an abusive relationship and question the victim for not ending things, as it is ultimately their choice. Individuals in such relationships are often trapped in a web of manipulation, lies, and fear. They also suffer from low self-esteem and loneliness. In some cultures, they may maintain such relationships because of the involvement of families. An influential psychological phenomenon to be considered in such relationships is intermittent reinforcement. A reward is offered by the abuser whenever the individual performs a desired activity, but only sometimes. The desire for this reward makes the person desperately repeat these activities, hoping to get rewarded with love, attention, or whatever they want. This action-reward system gets so hard-wired into the brain that people get addicted to the relationship, leaving them stuck in the circle of abuse. In such cases, it is rarely about love, let alone it being a feeling or a choice.&nbsp;So what exactly is love? Love is a skill. One that everyone can learn, and some can outclass. Being considerate, patient, kind, mindful, and supportive simultaneously requires expertise. We cannot grasp these effortlessly, like any other skill. It takes years of learning and experience to master this skill. This skill is crucial not only to continue loving someone but also to know when to stop loving someone. Knowing when to leave a relationship is an important element to this skill, one that could save you pain and trauma. When you perfect this art, you can better understand people and their circumstances to make smarter decisions. This understanding helps one differentiate a good relationship or feeling from a toxic one. Love is both a feeling and a choice at some point, but it has to be a skill for it to live long and be fruitful. Thus, the goal should be to gain expertise in this skill, not categorize it as a choice or feeling.

Love: A Careful Choice or an Uncontrollable Emotion?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.192300571967987551639975398191%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=345bf1ba-12ba-44c5-9f09-351b423c8341" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> Ask yourself: When was the last time you stopped to think about the origins of your morning coffee, or how does the Bluetooth work on your smartphone, or really, when was the last time you stopped to try and understand more about your reality? How often do you really think? The complex problem of thinking is: There are many ways of thinking and too many things to think about. When you try to understand the best route to get to someone&rsquo;s house, are you thinking? You could say so. However, would you say the same thing when you stop to understand the meaning of your life? Yes, you could also say so. However, there&rsquo;s a fundamental element to this problem. At Queen&#39;s University in Kingston, Canada, psychologists did research that showed the average person has about 6,200 thoughts per day. And throughout your day, you make lots of decisions; each of those requires previous thoughts that you may not even be conscious of. So let&rsquo;s draw a line: When Socrates says, &ldquo;The unexamined life is not worth living&rdquo;, he&rsquo;s referring to the conscious process of thinking. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.192300571967987551639975398191%2Fimage2.webp?alt=media&token=4fb27fca-e95c-45d5-84d1-f292c64037a7" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> Along with that, one of the most rebellious phrases of philosophy is: &ldquo;I think, therefore I am.&rdquo; To wonder is to make something out of existence. When you look around and consciously perceive the world, you&rsquo;re a different part of what you would be if you weren&rsquo;t thinking. The sky won&rsquo;t be as beautiful if you don&rsquo;t look at it, even though it is the same sky. The wind will pass almost unnoticed if you don&rsquo;t appreciate it. &ldquo;You will die without living if you don&rsquo;t think about it.&rdquo; So ask yourself: What is life? Get a good answer to this question, and then: throw it away. The point is not to find a pretty little answer but to dive into deep thoughts. And then, ask yourself again and again because everything is constantly changing, and you&rsquo;re part of the changing process. So, embrace the various definitions you can think about. You&rsquo;ll find uncertainty in your search for answers to complex questions such as: &ldquo;What is life?&rdquo; The way to deal with uncertainty is to have faith because nobody knows the truth. Maybe truth, as we conceive it, is not even something we conquer by &ldquo;knowing&rdquo;. And to understand what life is, you&rsquo;ll need more than logical assumptions. If we take as an example the axiom from Rick Sanchez - from the animated show Rick and Morty - &nbsp;&ldquo;What people call Love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed&rdquo;. Some may agree that indeed this is love. However, we could also agree that something is missing in this assumption. It is too reductionist, lacking the metaphysical aspect of love and its applications in the way we think and perceive the world. So, in the end, one needs the courage to think because along with answers, there&lsquo;ll be suffering and other questions to answer. However, it is necessary to consider to make life worth living: So go on to ask yourself: What is life? -writing one answer in the comment section might help you think things through-

What is Life? - A Guide to Making Life Worth Living

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.249107734565167331633718379654%2Fimage2.webp?alt=media&token=dfe820cc-c3d8-4a26-adb2-f6996634eca6" alt="File preview" width="700" /> A heartbreaking photo had taken over the internet a few years back, drawing attention to the sad life of refugees. It was of a kid as little as 3, lying on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea, in a red t-shirt and blue jeans, water splashing against his little legs. He wasn&rsquo;t playing by the beaches like other kids of his age usually do. He was lying &ndash; dead. Aylan Kurdi&rsquo;s story is one of misery that has touched people across the globe. For once, the world seemed to have opened its eyes to see the plight of refugees, the betrayal and anguish they face. Refugees are people who have had to make the hard decision of leaving their homeland while still having a sensitive connection to it, for reasons like &ndash; persecution based on religion/gender, war, poverty, natural disasters, etc. The struggle they face in their native isn&rsquo;t only the one they live through. It continues during their flight from fear and even after reaching their destination. Very often, cases arise wherein refugees suffer from an inferior legal status, acute living conditions, harassment, and employment issues in their place of arrival. It takes a lot of courage to undertake a risk as significant as fleeing one&rsquo;s country to rebuild themselves. It&rsquo;s a grave and dangerous choice to leave everything in search of peace. Refugees expect empathy, support, and hope from the world as a validation for their struggles. They wish to experience the protection of human rights and accommodation of mutual respect since they come from places where people are attacked for being themselves. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.249107734565167331633718379654%2Fimage3.webp?alt=media&token=434803bd-a3db-4b2b-8ff9-00d16e10d9a0" alt="File preview" width="700" /> When a crisis such as a refugee displacement issue arises, it is only fair that the responsibility is shared globally. It becomes a moral responsibility on other countries to safeguard and provide shelter and necessities to those who have faced so much violence and threats to life that they crossed oceans and skies just to find the will to live in solace &ndash; something that many of us are gifted with. It becomes our duty to accept, empower and protect them. The figures depicting the refugees are indeed scary &ndash; there are reports of about 30-35 Million refugees globally. But it is not the refugees that are to be feared. Instead, it is the cause that has made them take up the designation and the response of the superiorly fated people towards them that must be. The way the media portrays refugees has a considerable role to play in how people understand them. Displaying them negatively as a threat or burden could hamper the way communities welcome them and further their inclusion and interaction. When the receiving communities become skeptical about accepting refugees, it becomes hard for the latter group to find opportunities. Accepting refugees is not only a moral judgment but also a smart one. They have moved forward in life, past barriers and uncertainties of the worst kind, simply to claim their right to live. &nbsp;What is to be feared in them in aspects of determination or hard work? People ready to fight for life will also be prepared to do anything to keep the newfound freedom. It&rsquo;s important to grant them the right to work and health, living, and education so that they can bring forward their best productive selves. It is also essential to make them feel comfortable and included in society to integrate them better into the labor force. Refugees often have to pitch in double the efforts to prove their skills and build a livelihood in their host countries. We don&rsquo;t realize that they could serve as potential enhancers of our society&rsquo;s welfare when granted the right opportunity. While considering acceptance of refugees and migrants, something that&rsquo;s mainly feared is the loss of job opportunities for the local citizens. This fear attributed towards them by making them look like a potential economic and social threat is not entirely justified as: &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Refugees bring a distinct set of skills that can play a crucial role in stimulating business networks and knowledge sharing. They help contribute to healthy competition in the job sector by working in different domains and helping out their co-workers. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Refugees often initiate their businesses, which helps others seeking a job to find an opportunity. In the U.S, such small firms contribute to about 1.5 million jobs annually. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Presence of refugees in the job sector makes International Trade and investments healthier and enhanced due to their commendable knowledge of the business environment, which will in turn allow local communities to thrive. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Refugees have the knack for fostering their native community in the global market. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Refugees take up challenges to adapt to the new place; work on improving the new language for a better communication experience at work and in public. Work hard to have their skills recognized, and for self-contentment by taking up responsibilities at work. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Refugees help the receiving community by making the setting more social, flexible, and diverse. It helps in the acceptance and well treatment of future refugees and migrants. &middot;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;There have been refugees who grew into prominent figures that changed the world for the better. E.g., Albert Einstein. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.249107734565167331633718379654%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=e2b99bf1-f91a-4784-afa7-46941fe71cb7" alt="File preview" width="700" /> Laws favoring the refugees have been passed universally, but it is to question if they are always followed. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Article 14) states that everyone has the right to seek protection in a foreign asylum to escape persecution. The 1951 UN Refugee Convention protects refugees from being sent back to the country where they have been persecuted. There&rsquo;s also the 1990 Migrant Workers Convention which protects migrants and their families. Despite such laws existing, refugees face many lows in their host countries; their rights continue to be violated. Governments around the world should honour their responsibility of uplifting humans in times of need and guard human rights to the best by eliminating any racism, torture, or discrimination that may follow the refugees&rsquo; arrival, making them feel a lack of support system. The word &lsquo;Refugee&rsquo; is only a tag on them brought on by an experience they encountered. A single tag, owing to a single experience, shouldn&rsquo;t be used to replace someone&rsquo;s identity. Refugees are people who carry over stories of survival and strength for generations to come. They are not the violence they faced, the trauma that shook them, or the fear they may still hold. They are beyond all these; they are human beings with potential, emotions and responsibilities, who have fought against situations you and I have only heard of. They are people who make laudable contributions to the society they live in, who have a strong belief in themselves. Refugees deserve inclusion, opportunities, and respect, regardless of what made them flee in the first place.

The Refugee Crisis - To Abandon or Accept?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.102809502103431431634384762413%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=252ffbd9-e7e2-4c60-81eb-836f08101c52" alt="File preview" width="700" /> In one perspective, time could be easily seen as a homeless person: ignored, despised by some, where only the wise and the goodhearted pay attention and try to help. The result of a system that is too busy counting money and not caring about death because &ldquo;diamonds last forever&rdquo;. But time (as a homeless person) is on the streets, constantly showing us that there is something wrong with the world and that beyond all distractions, suffering still is the infrastructure of mankind. Time will stop you on your way to work and ask for just a spare change, and you may ignore it, but the uneasiness of being indifferent will stick with you, and you&rsquo;ll be anxious. Or maybe time can also be the soldier in the field, fighting against chaos and ensuring our liberty because time is what secures our present since even against all odds, existence somehow manages to thrive in a universe of uncertainty. It is also possible for time to be an artist on the street, ignoring the before or after, living in between. Because what is real can only be real in the present, what is in the past is merely a memory. And what is the future, if not only speculation?&nbsp;The artist, when playing his art, carries the wisdom of living according to existence. Often underestimated and seen as stupid or unimportant, however, with the flow of events the strokes of paint and the agressive hits at the Canvas that one day was foolish suddenly becomes what is called &ldquo;a masterpiece&rdquo; and finally taken seriously. In the same way, time flows constantly and wipes out entire empires. Time could be seen as the baker who gives us our daily bread, but it can also be seen as the cop that will throw you in a cell at the slightest mistake. (As we can see in people who spent years of their life with something they regret, and they can feel nothing on their deathbed but resentment) <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.102809502103431431634384762413%2Fimage2.webp?alt=media&token=37c8ba1b-df8f-49ce-809e-ab7d06574765" alt="File preview" width="700" /> The truth is that time is what you make of it, your ally, your enemy, bliss or a curse and the only thing known for sure is that it eventually outruns everyone and everything. The choices we make are responsible for building the persona that time will incorporate into our lives. Ten minutes of sleep may be minimal, but ten minutes of excruciating pain is unforgettable. And the reason why we should have that in mind is that, in the end, a desensitized life guided only by what is convenient and emptiness is arguably worth less than a single moment of virtue and authenticity. To make good usage of time is not only to be productive but to make every second count. Of course, in the 24 hours that a day has, we won&rsquo;t be able to make each second worth a lifetime, but unfortunately, the opposite is possible, and it is rather common: 24 hours can be easily wasted. In our last seconds, time serves as a judge and although the sentence is inevitably death&nbsp;the difference will be: The verdict of some will be a shameful one (for those who have completely wasted their life), and others will have glory as because they wisely lived while they could.

What if time was a person?

<img alt="" src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.106371827230216321636142948157%2Fimage3.webp?alt=media&token=f22dfe36-43eb-49d8-b681-1257a100da82" > A Happy Meal&nbsp;&ndash; A hamburger, a portion of nuggets, regular-sized french fries and a tall glass of an aerated drink. What can be happier than this? One of my friends asked on Instagram after uploading a picture of the happy meal. Her foodstagramming immediately gave me a surge of hunger, and to satisfy my impulsive craving, I felt like I needed to order a happy meal. However, something caught my eye. Her other comment said, &ldquo;A happy tummy makes the mind happy&rdquo;. It made me think. Is your tummy really happy? <h2 class="c2" id="h.9v9nfepbyzst">Effects - Short and Long</h2> A happy meal is a concoction of saturated or trans fats, sugar and salt. Its immediate effects are on your digestive system due to high amounts of fat, sucrose and sodium. Stomach discomfort and lethargy are the short-term effects that some of you might experience after having such a humongous meal. According to Medical News Today, constipation, obesity, type 2 diabetes, and heart diseases are the long-term effects. They also suggest that a &quot;happy meal&quot; diet may also raise the risk of Alzheimer&rsquo;s disease and Parkinson&rsquo;s disease. Obesity seems to top the list of long-term effects. World Health Organisation (WHO) has also stated on their website that 1.9 billion adults were overweight in 2016, and 650 million obese. Another staggering study conducted on 100 adolescents by the European Journal of Molecular &amp; Clinical Medicine showed that 90% of them consume fast food. Furthermore, out of all the effects of fast food consumption, 37% of the participants had trouble sleeping, 24% had worrying nature or fatigue, 17% had undergone depression, 14% had emotional distress, and 8% showed violent behaviour. In conclusion, a study made by European Journal of Molecular &amp; Clinical Medicine concludes that impact of fast food leads to depression. Therefore, in the long run, fast food affects not only your body but also your mind. <h3 class="c1 c10" id="h.1gsg56sjbdd5">Did you know WHO had challenged food industries in a report on diet and health?</h3> As per a journal from the National Center for Biotechnology Information, WHO had called on the food industry to reduce amounts of certain types of fats as well as salt and sugar in snacks and processed foods. They had also criticized the food and drinks industry for &ldquo;heavy marketing practices of energy-dense, micronutrient-poor foods.&rdquo; The last statement made me question the marketing tactics used by the food industries and I started digging deeper. <h2 class="c2" id="h.v9l2o3oz42d2">How Food Marketing Works</h2> Take the example of a happy meal. The word &ldquo;happy&rdquo; used in the advertisements is quite misleading as it does not necessarily keep your stomach healthy. Still, your mind looking for temporary joy will make you buy the happy meal without a moment&rsquo;s thought. Furthermore, the fast-food companies&rsquo; advertisements typically show a family eating at their chain and a kid enjoying a burger with a smile on his face. They also offer a bunch of toys with the meal making the kid excited and wanting to visit again soon. Happiness is the key focus in these advertisements. These companies make you believe that families are enjoying their time at the fast-food joints without regard for what harm it can cause you? But we know the truth now. It made me question the ethics of the advertising world. <img alt="" src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.106371827230216321636142948157%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=d0412453-fc06-488a-8d24-a9054e8d5d27" > <h2 class="c2" id="h.l5b9y6jinmwk">Ethical vs Unethical Advertising</h2> <h4 class="c1 c10" id="h.dglgg7npd0ks">&ldquo;What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.&rdquo; &ndash; Vilhjalmur Stefansson</h4> Yes, it is a confusing quote. I had never thought that truth could be used to deceive, yet this quote made sense. Take the happy meal advertisement as an example again. The truth is that the consumers are happy after having a meal. Families do enjoy their time dining at the fast-food joints, and it cannot be denied. Hence, it is ethical advertising as it shows the truth. But what makes our mind happy is not necessarily the same for our tummy. So, the deceiving here is, not mentioning in the advertisements - the high amount of fats, sucrose and sodium levels that fast food contains and the side effects and long-term effects of the food on our body. <h2 class="c2" id="h.hc31krrseuk8">So, do we just switch to healthy food?</h2> Though you know the ill effects of fast food and how the food industry advertisements are wired to your mind, it is still not easy to stay away from unhealthy food. Your mind wants instant gratification, and so it depends on material things like food to be happy. Marketing professionals are shrewdly aware of this concept, and the advertisements are always there to get you. To deal with this, you need to make a conscious effort to fight the urge to make your mind happy with the food. Ask yourself these questions the next time you want to have a happy meal: <ol class="c15 lst-kix_i3v6b4gmn81l-0 start" start="1"> <li class="c1 c6 li-bullet-0">Will a happy meal make me and my stomach happy?</li> <li class="c1 c6 li-bullet-0">Should I invest in food that is going to make me unhealthy?</li> <li class="c1 c6 li-bullet-0">Is the temporary joy of fast food greater than the long-term illness caused by it?</li> </ol> These questions will make you focus on the larger consequence and help you curb the need for instant gratification through food. Eating healthy is a dire need not only for your body but also for your mind. <img alt="" src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.106371827230216321636142948157%2Fimage2.webp?alt=media&token=01a851e7-7ce2-4fbb-8ffe-dc653d3d38a0" > Don&#39;t forget that what makes you happy does not necessarily make you healthy. So, how do you avoid unhealthy food? Share your experience with us.

What Makes You Happy, Does it Also Make You Healthy

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.392732045901529551628072884675%2FTOXIC%20POSITIVITY_ShilpaSivadas_1.webp?alt=media&token=85238d46-123a-40e8-9e40-2d1d9ec879d5" alt="" width="764" height="509" />The wise Mark Twain once said, "Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough&rdquo;. We all say that until we've had a wild night of too much whiskey to drink and wake up the next day with a vile hangover, only to realize that it&nbsp;really&nbsp;was&nbsp;too much&nbsp;whiskey. I like to compare positivity to Mark Twain's whiskey. They both sound like things that could never go wrong, but they can go wrong in so many ways in actuality.&nbsp;It is a common misconception that being constantly and excessively positive is excellent for your mental health. However, the truth is far from it, and people don't always realize that it is crucial to experience the complete range of emotions, both positive and negative. Positive thinking is immensely helpful in coping with stress, and it can enhance resilience, but dismissing all negative emotions and overgeneralizing positivity is where it gets toxic. Toxic positivity or forced happiness is the expectation of being zestful and happy, even in the face of adversities. It comes with myriad repercussions; repressing emotions can cause anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and a general deterioration of mental health. Your unsightly optimism can lead to failures that could have been avoided.&nbsp;Most importantly, negative emotions make you human. As humans, it is nearly impossible to feel no negative emotions, and these serve as coping mechanisms in various life events. No fight in life comes with only positive vibes, and your obsession with positivity could stop you from working towards social justice due to negative emotions such as anger and fear. That is not what we woke folks want now, right?So how does one distinguish good positivity from toxic positivity? Here are some ways to recognize that your positivity has turned toxic:1) You avoid and run away from negative emotions - If you feel awkward whenever you feel sad, angry, scared, or jealous, and if you prefer to simply replace them with positive thoughts instead of "feeling it out", you need to watch out. In the wise words of my therapist, avoidance works, but only temporarily. Imagine shoving a ton of things into a tiny drawer to clean up a messy room. You can overstuff the drawer and shut it tight, but it will only be a while before the drawer bursts open and makes a bigger mess than before. Similarly, these emotions may go away temporarily through avoidance, but they can come back stronger or may even last longer.&nbsp;2) You try hard to find positives in every bad situation - Every cloud may not have a silver lining. Still, if you are persistent in finding one for the sake of staying optimistic, you're getting close to toxic positivity. Everybody goes through tough times, and it is only realistic to say that you cannot always find immediate positives.&nbsp;3) You guilt yourself and others for feeling negative emotions - Everyone has heard phrases like "just move on" or "don't be such a baby" or "be a man" (toxic masculinity alert!). These phrases not only dismiss negative emotions but also lack empathy and compassion. Humans often bond over negative emotions, experiences, and trauma and avoiding these can stop you from connecting with others.&nbsp;4) Overgeneralizing "it is what it is" - People often simplify the idea of stoicism and accept everything without feeling the right emotions for it. Maybe what you are going through is immutable, but that does not mean you don't acknowledge the emotions that come with it. Genuine acceptance can only come after you go through the tsunami of emotions caused by the trauma.&nbsp;5) Frequently minimizing your and other people's experiences - Saying things like "it could be a lot worse" or offering overly positive affirmations at a time of crisis is a telltale sign of toxic positivity. Everyone goes through unique experiences in life, and you cannot measure these emotions on a scale.<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.392732045901529551628072884675%2FTOXIC%20POSITIVITY_ShilpaSivadas_2.webp?alt=media&token=7093ff6c-567c-4276-9e5e-d4f173804cde" alt="" width="765" height="510" />It may almost sound like a lot of our supposedly positive habits are toxic, right? Does that make you a toxic person? Not if you are willing to acknowledge and change these habits. The key to changing these is simple - do not chase the emotions away. Make it a habit to feel every emotion, even the negative ones. Try to get through the feelings rather than getting over them. It is easier said than done, but it is worth the effort. You will notice that your negative emotions are short-lived, and you will feel liberated and recharged, just like you do after a good cry. When you genuinely experience every emotion, you will have a whole new perspective of real, unforced, and unfettered positivity.&nbsp;

Toxic Positivity – The Bad Side of “Being Too Positive”

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.52485430586477431631036480229%2F4ec66f95-1f32-48ae-b199-3932d03a2afd.webp?alt=media&token=e0c4b6a0-2fec-46ae-9505-ffff84cfb689" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> People have always equated romantic relationships to monogamy. They consider love as a feeling that occurs between no more than two people. When a person argues to be in love with more than one person, we tend to brush these feelings off as a crush or an infatuation. But this is not always true. What if you love more than one person equally and passionately? If love is a choice, why can't we choose to love two people equally? Also, is loving your partners equally possible or even necessary? Love is a complicated emotion. A person typically loves more than one person in their lifetime, including their parents, siblings, pets, and friends among others. You are also attracted to more than one person at a time. But to understand whether you can love more than one person, the key is to distinguish love from attraction. When you are attracted to someone, your body goes through a series of chemical reactions that result in a powerful yet temporary sense of connection. Love is different because it takes time to develop and lasts longer. Upon understanding the difference between genuine love and attraction, we look at the idea of being in love with two people simultaneously. Falling in love with two people is not easy; it requires immense patience and investment. However, several experienced individuals have stated that it is certainly possible. You can fall in love with two people for entirely different reasons, and both these reasons could be equally valid. You fall in love with one person for the way you get adventurous with them, and you love another person for the way you feel safe around them. With both of them, your brain releases hormones that make you fall in love. Ultimately, love is a choice at some point. For the same reason, you will have to choose the next step by considering the various factors at play.&nbsp; Assume you are in a polyamorous relationship. It is commendable if one does manage an arrangement that allows a happy polyamorous relationship. But is it possible to love both/all partners equally? More importantly, is it necessary? Let us look at a polyamorous relationship where a person has two partners. The person can surely love both partners equally. If love is a choice, we can choose how to love our partners. But if you examine the emotions involved while falling in love, this statement may not hold because, well, emotions are uncontrollable.. But why is it necessary to love both partners equally? It isn't. Loving two people in an equal sense would mean offering the same things to both partners or doing everything twice. Doing this is not only impractical but also unnecessary. Equity is what matters in such relationships. Both the partners may need entirely different things from you.&nbsp; One partner may require a lot of alone time, while the other would love to spend most of their spare time with you. In such a case, spending more time with the latter does not mean you love them more, but you provide both the partners with what they need. One partner may want to trek with you, while the other prefers spending time indoors. Having a stay-cation with the former and a long trek with the latter would only result in two overwhelmed and annoyed partners. Thus, equity needs to be established in such relationships, and not equality. Every relationship is distinct and this is true even with polyamorous relationships. You will deal with two distinct people with various needs and preferences. Take the example of your parents; you loved them both equally, but they both had different expectations from you. Applying numbers to relationships may not be the wisest choice in polyamory. "Equity, not equality" is the way to go with these relationships to keep everyone happy.&nbsp;

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