<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.065927279545930921628072884125%2FScience%20Behind%20The%20Smile_IgnjatMilinkovic_1.webp?alt=media&token=d4862162-8ba2-4dfa-ab5b-2c7a24b4b3e4" alt="" width="764" height="509" /> Before you start reading this article, take a moment and ask yourself: &ldquo;How do I feel now?&rdquo; Is it happy, joyful, excited or sad, sorrowful, helpless, pessimistic? Whatever is the answer, you should give yourself another moment to recall all the situations that eventually triggered your actual feelings. Tap your back and know that mostly those feelings are transitory and that they are just visitors of your previous actions and reactions to certain situations that you were in. Happiness is becoming mainstream and a norm that all of us are reaching for. Society is expecting us to feel happy, to feel free. It&rsquo;s pushing us towards positive thinking, constantly burying down the true specter of feelings that we have in use and which we are sensing consciously or unconsciously. <h2>But what does science says about happiness?</h2> Psychologists define happiness as a subjective state of satisfaction with a current life situation, related to the feeling of self-fulfillment and enjoyment. An absence of negative emotions and stress. It is important to unpack this concept.&nbsp; We should know one basic thing, we could not feel happy if we don&rsquo;t feel sad. We could not feel joy if we don&rsquo;t feel despair. All of those are just extremes of a continuum. A dimension with two poles. The negative and positive sides. They are driving life as most humans know it. As aware beings, we have the luxury of consciously experiencing feelings. To think about them, recall them, learn how to overcome them or how to enjoy feeling them. <h2>Pleasure vs. Happiness</h2> Have you ever thought about the distinction between pleasure and happiness? Let&rsquo;s take a look what are the differences because the majority of people are misusing these concepts. First of all, pleasure is connected to our sensory level. According to a time dimension, it&rsquo;s short-lived, while happiness is long-lived.&nbsp;&nbsp; How to achieve it? Well, mostly by taking consumables (ex. food). On the other side, happiness is attained by giving and sharing (ex. human interactions, altruism). How it&rsquo;s experienced? Pleasure could be experienced even when we are alone, but happiness is shared in a group setting. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.065927279545930921628072884125%2FScience%20Behind%20The%20Smile_IgnjatMilinkovic_2.webp?alt=media&token=6fe16e36-5f13-4bcd-a0f6-225896234534" alt="" /> <h2>Neuroscience and Happiness</h2> On a physiological scale, a neurotransmitter in charge of pleasure is Dopamine. The one responsible for happiness is Serotonin.&nbsp; When taken to extremes, too much pleasure could lead to an addiction. You can&rsquo;t be addicted to happiness, right? Still, it&rsquo;s very hard to measure happiness because of its subjectiveness. But neuroscientists have discovered the brain parts and neurotransmitters, they have found the &ldquo;neuroanatomy of pleasure&rdquo;. They&rsquo;ve divided it into three major substrates: motivation, pleasure or &ldquo;liking&rdquo; and learning. From a thing that motivates or encourages someone to do something (it defines what we want), through conscious pleasure and hedonic impact, to cognitive processing and associative learning. All three of these have their own structures and areas in the brain which are duty-bound for different actions. Those areas are interconnected, they have functional connectivity between the anterior cingulate cortex and orbitofrontal cortex, hypothalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus. Affective neuroscience research on sensory pleasure has revealed many networks of brain regions and neurotransmitters activated by pleasant events and states. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that mediated satisfaction, happiness, and optimism. For example, Serotonin levels are reduced in depression, and most modern anti-depressant drugs, known as serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI), act by increasing the amount of serotonin available to brain cells. <h2>Common sense&nbsp;</h2> After all, we should know that happiness is a process, not a destination.&nbsp; To achieve it, we need to go through the pitfalls, we need to feel the burden of negative emotions, we need to let all of those feelings come through us, to analyze them, see where our blind spot is, and overcome them. We need to be proactive in our search for happiness because only then we can rip our chains and feel free again. Research shows that much of the happiness is under personal control. Regularly indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social relationships, and finding meaning beyond oneself all increase life satisfaction. It isn&rsquo;t happiness per se that promotes well-being, it&rsquo;s an actual pursuit that&rsquo;s a key.

Science Behind the Smile

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.0202072586930484021635362946595%2Fimage1.webp?alt=media&token=754af849-7759-4104-ad5a-eb79787e56b8" alt="File preview" width="500" /> In the final article in this 3 part series, we will discuss whether or not society really needs morals in order to function, as well as the principles of justice and equality when making moral considerations. <h3> Do We Really Need a Defined Set of Morals for Society to Function? </h3> No ethical or moral system is likely to be perfect in all cases. There are simply too many different possible scenarios along with their variables that can arise for any single value system to provide perfect solutions all of the time. If a set of moral principles is too vague, then the answers it offers become unclear. But if an ethical system becomes too precisely delineated, everyone becomes weighed down with expansive legalism that is difficult to follow. Human beings are social animals by nature, and there are currently 7.8 billion of us living together. Suppose certain classes of people acted only as ends unto themselves, such as the higher human beings that Nietzsche refers to. How would we collectively begin to achieve any sort of overall harmony of value judgments? How would this affect how we treat each other? For instance, would it be permissible for a &lsquo;higher man&rsquo; to treat other persons from the herd however they pleased - since their moral judgments are far beyond what lesser individuals can comprehend? Any student of 20th-century history quickly realizes how problematic and dangerous such ideas have the potential to become. Or are there universal moral principles that supersede the individual&rsquo;s will? While adhering to an established system of morals might diminish the individual&#39;s autonomous range, perhaps a different sort of freedom might arise. Would it be possible to free the self in service of a greater good instead of being slaves to our impulses or cyclically pursuing our own ends? Additionally, while the idea of great men creating their own values and pushing the envelope of morality sounds good in theory, how would it work relative to history? Since little is truly new under the sun, and everything that exists now has essentially come before in some form or another, how would someone trying to create their own values manage to do anything truly unique? Somewhere, sometime, someone on this planet has likely been confronted with a similar moral choice that mirrors almost any that we could face. And since the energy of life on this earth remains interconnected as it moves through time, it would seem that we are simply playing a temporary role in continuing a much larger cycle of cause and effect. Learning from life often involves making mistakes and trying not to repeat them. This process continues the cycle of growth that leads us away from stagnation or decay. To see clearly and learn from the mistakes of others without suffering the same fate is wisdom. Perhaps the moral insights that will become most valuable to us are those that we discover both from the real pain of our mistakes along with looking to the cumulative wisdom of others. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.0202072586930484021635362946595%2Fimage3.webp?alt=media&token=093e5089-0370-4744-b7c9-10e334f29d6f" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> <h3> The Moral Issues of Equality and Justice </h3> Finally, perhaps by considering the relationship of morality to other integral principles, we can better balance personal freedom and social responsibilities. One of the foundational principles of ethics is that of equality in regards to justice. Because while all human beings may not be physically, intellectually, socially, or financially equal, all are endowed with a basic set of rights. All are equally deserving of moral consideration. If you remove this fundamental principle from any ethical equation, it will likely result in some form of inequality and exploitation of a person (or group) by another. And a moral system based on exploitation isn&rsquo;t much of a moral system at all. <ul> <li> Any system that allows certain individuals the absolute freedom to ignore the rights of the larger, collective group or target the rights of other individuals is explicitly not ethical. </li> <li> But the systemic process of allowing groups in power to overreach and interfere with certain innate personal freedoms of individuals (thereby limiting their potential) is also harmful and unethical. </li> </ul> Is there some system that might better balance the rights of various individuals from all groups? &nbsp;No system will be perfect for all members since there are so many diverse situations and characteristics. But using universal principles of some kind to formulate a baseline of ethical standards applicable to all must occur to ensure fundamental rights. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.0202072586930484021635362946595%2Fimage2.webp?alt=media&token=645165b3-3f48-4c44-a0ff-d44e6ebf4138" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> <h3>Article Summary:</h3> <ul> <li> If we fail to thoroughly examine the validity of our most deeply held values, to recognize where they come from and why they are important, they become hollow and meaningless over time. When values lose their integrity, it leads to blind obedience, unquestioning conformity, and moral stagnation. </li> <li> However, suppose we set ourselves adrift in a sea of moral relativism or begin to say that there are no universal moral truths that are greater than our own free will. In that case, we risk becoming lost in ourselves and falling prey to our biases and desires. We risk creating a hell on earth while trying to fashion a paradise of our own design. </li> </ul>

Part 3 of 3: The Development of Morality - Nietzsche vs Kohlberg

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/article_images%2FIs%20happiness%20a%20Universal%20concept_1.png?alt=media&token=f3a8047b-814e-4ce8-b44b-d0f776449f90" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />To question the nature of happiness would be too clich&eacute; of an opener, but I am sorry to announce that we&rsquo;re going to have to start like this for the sake of time. If by happiness you mean positive emotions, this piece is not for you. Positive emotions can be good, but if that&rsquo;s the only thing you&rsquo;re chasing, you might just be in a constant state of mania. Trust me, I&rsquo;ve chased them for a long time and can say that with confidence. I still like to do so from time to time because&nbsp;what is life without a little bit of forbidden fruit salad? &nbsp; I like to look at happiness resulting from&nbsp;efforts we have put into ourselves and our lives, resulting&nbsp;in a minimum amount of needless agony. We cannot find ourselves in life without suffering, but we can create a small heaven for ourselves as we slowly head towards death. After which we may land in hell, in which even if you don&rsquo;t believe in it through a religious lens . As one of my favorite&nbsp;quotes lays out, &ldquo;Hell is other people&rdquo;. You&nbsp;might be encouraged to lose a little faith in humanity if you are a cynic. Still, this quote&rsquo;s teaching is based on&nbsp;the idea that other people&rsquo;s judgment&nbsp;will always&nbsp;hold a piece of your identity and subsequently how you evaluate yourself. This is one of the many reasons why social cohesion and cooperation&nbsp;is so important and vital to our survival. It is not a mere superficial modern illusion of ego and looks based approach or a primitive need for tribalism and tribal associations. Social status is important because our existence is heavily connected to our coexistence. Through the individual manifestation of our responsibilities, we can enjoy our rights. Think of it like Karma, do good and get good. And, if Karma does not convince you, do some reading on the &ldquo;Shopping Cart Theory&#39;&#39;, and you might&nbsp;get lost in the rabbit hole of the domino effect in which we all abandon our moral grounds, all starting just with a shopping cart. &nbsp; Now, let&rsquo;s look at heaven and how&nbsp;to lay the foundations of this heaven. Although this can vary amongst people, ages, religions, and cultures, &nbsp;thankfully, certain universals make&nbsp;us all human. We&nbsp;can find common ground about what brings&nbsp;quality into our lives. This can be anything, from a meal with a loved one to a long-overdue&nbsp;phone call with a friend, to doing what you love as a job or having a &nbsp;family that you feel at home with, or even something as simple as taking a walk . &nbsp;The list goes on and on, but you get the gist. It&rsquo;s the little things in life. &nbsp; But how do you get to appreciate those little things as the foundations of life when it is all too human to get consumed by the infamous existential void? &nbsp; The answers to this question are many and plausibly too complex to fit into a book or an article. But let&rsquo;s try and dip our toes into this complex pool for a little bit. A few things&nbsp;have fascinated me more than the overlap between spirituality and the process of growing through the pain that is&nbsp;the unplanned, unforeseen, unlucky and flat out bad experiences in life. I&nbsp;believe that certain human universals constitute&nbsp;the standard for a decent human life with enough happy moments to die satisfied. If you are still intrigued enough to be reading this, try to think of this as a big question mark. So, is happiness based on&nbsp;spirituality, psychoanalysis, or merely the universe and the rules that govern it? And no, I am not a quantum physicist, so I won&rsquo;t be talking about how&nbsp;the universe works. But since we all have the universe inside of us, if&nbsp;we look deep enough, we can find a bit of wisdom hidden through a little piece of the universe, or God, or whatever it is that governs the greater reality that we live in. &nbsp; Suppose&nbsp;we were to look at happiness through the lens of psychology and psychoanalysis. In that case,&nbsp;we can see a bottom line of working through your issues, getting to know, accepting and integrating your shadow and growing into the person that embodies your potential to the fullest extent. Successfully, this results in a life that balances out good relationships with family and loved ones, an acceptable social status to pass on to the next generation (in evolutionary terms), a roof over your head, minimal anxiety for basic survival needs and a feeling of being content with the life you have. &nbsp; If you take a look at spiritual teachings, you will come across the idea of content-ness almost immediately; mindfulness teaches, among many things, the idea that the present moment is all that there is. It is what it is. You&nbsp;can&rsquo;t be happy all the time as that is too unrealistic. You just have to be content, there, in the moment with anything it might bring with it. Unless in a life threatening situation, of course! &nbsp; In the psychological journey, you develop the skills and personality traits to deal with the adversities in your life to&nbsp;take the reigns of your life and structure it so&nbsp;that it is meaningful enough to carry on. Allow&nbsp;me to quote Buddha: &ldquo;Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional&rdquo; . This&nbsp;resonates enough with humans to be attributed to Buddha for some reason. Comparatively, the most popular clinical psychologist and intellectual of our time, Jordan Peterson - whether you like him or not- resonates with an increasingly large audience through a similar message. It is a&nbsp;message that is deeply rooted in the idea of growing and taking responsibility for the things in your control, rather than losing yourself in nihilism and meaningless pursuits. Why do these ideas resonate with people cross-culturally, whether through an ancient philosophy like Buddhism or a clinical psychologist? Is there an overlap between these two? And if yes, does this mean there is a universal truth to what makes a good, happy life? Are we about to discover the key to happiness by the end of this? &nbsp; Probably not, but we can at least hope that we might continue the pursuit of happiness until the end of time, not because we have not obtained it, but to keep it. Survival is not the only reason for living, but after survival comes thriving. If you manage to survive, simple things &nbsp;matter and if you appreciate the little things, greater things will come; you will thrive. Whether you look at this through a spiritual, religious or psychological perspective, life is nothing but a constant pursuit of that little moment of happiness through growth resulting from inevitable challenges&nbsp;included in life.

Is happiness a Universal concept?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.063352219396265011628072882664%2FThe%20Three%20Faces%20Of%20Love_AyushDubey_1.webp?alt=media&token=d91b8018-48f3-4ae4-b37e-2d524bebbfb5" alt="" width="783" height="560" />Love is fodder for poets, a form of expression for artists, a mystery for science, and a dilemma for philosophers. Everyone strives to understand and define love from their perspective. Yet love is a universal state free from the bonds of personal inclination.&nbsp;Everyone craves love. Try all you can, but you can never do away with the fleeting sense of love. Man is a social animal who hopes with the help of love. Love is a significant driving force for the majority of our actions.&nbsp;The quest to know about the true nature of love is a complex feat to achieve. The triangular theory of love is one theory that explains the three faces of love psychologically.Robert Sternberg states that love comprises three components: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment/Decision. The Intimacy component encompasses feelings of closeness, affection, and connectedness. The Passion component comprises the motivational drives relating to sex, physical proximity, and romance. This component symbolizes intense, physiologically arousing feelings of attraction. Finally, the third aspect of love, the Decision/Commitment, embodies both the initial cognition that one loves another person and the long-term determination to maintain that love.People can experience these three aspects of love in entirely different ways. Thus, these three components can create eight different types of love depending on which of the three components are present or missing from a relationship.&nbsp;Table 1: The Combinations of Love&nbsp;<table style="width: 604.6px; border-color: #000000; height: 200px;" border="1"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Type of love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Intimacy </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Passion </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Decision/ Commitment&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Nonlove&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Liking&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Infatuated love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Empty love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Romantic love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Companionate love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Fatuous love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Absent&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> </tr> <tr> <td style="width: 156px;"> Consummate love&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 97px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 104px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> <td style="width: 216.6px;"> Present&nbsp; </td> </tr> </tbody></table>From the table, nonlove refers to people who have the most casual relationships. It consists of the absence of the three components of love. Liking develops when only intimacy is present; Infatuated love exists when only passion exists between the partners, and empty love exists when only decision/ commitment exists between the partners.&nbsp;Other types of love involve a mix of two or more components. For instance, romantic love occurs when intimacy and passion are present and companionate love when intimacy and decision/ commitment occur jointly. When two people experience romantic love, they report physical attraction and emotional connection, but they do not necessarily view the relationship as lasting. On the other hand, companionate love may occur in long-lasting relationships in which physical passion has taken a back seat.&nbsp;Fatuous love exists when passion and decision/commitment, without intimacy, are present. Fatuous love is mindless loving in which there is no emotional bond between the partners.&nbsp;Finally, the eighth kind of love is consummate love. In consummate love, all three components of love are present. Although one might assume that consummate love represents the ideal love, this isn't the case. On the contrary, many long-lasting and entirely satisfactional relationships encompass different types of love other than consummate love. Furthermore, the kind of love that predominates in a relationship varies over time.Throughout a relationship, the three aspects of love &mdash; intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment - vary in strength. In healthy, prosperous, and loving relationships, the level of decision/ commitment peaks and remains relatively stable. On the other hand, passion tends to peak early in the relationship but then declines and levels off. Intimacy also increases fairly rapidly but can continue to grow over time.The beauty of Sternberg's triangular theory of love is that it emphasizes both the complexity of love and its dynamic, ever-evolving nature. As people mature, so do their relationships, both with themselves and with others. Love is about being agile. Love is about embracing &nbsp;&nbsp;

The Three Faces Of Love

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.392732045901529551628072884675%2FTOXIC%20POSITIVITY_ShilpaSivadas_1.webp?alt=media&token=85238d46-123a-40e8-9e40-2d1d9ec879d5" alt="" width="764" height="509" />The wise Mark Twain once said, "Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough&rdquo;. We all say that until we've had a wild night of too much whiskey to drink and wake up the next day with a vile hangover, only to realize that it&nbsp;really&nbsp;was&nbsp;too much&nbsp;whiskey. I like to compare positivity to Mark Twain's whiskey. They both sound like things that could never go wrong, but they can go wrong in so many ways in actuality.&nbsp;It is a common misconception that being constantly and excessively positive is excellent for your mental health. However, the truth is far from it, and people don't always realize that it is crucial to experience the complete range of emotions, both positive and negative. Positive thinking is immensely helpful in coping with stress, and it can enhance resilience, but dismissing all negative emotions and overgeneralizing positivity is where it gets toxic. Toxic positivity or forced happiness is the expectation of being zestful and happy, even in the face of adversities. It comes with myriad repercussions; repressing emotions can cause anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and a general deterioration of mental health. Your unsightly optimism can lead to failures that could have been avoided.&nbsp;Most importantly, negative emotions make you human. As humans, it is nearly impossible to feel no negative emotions, and these serve as coping mechanisms in various life events. No fight in life comes with only positive vibes, and your obsession with positivity could stop you from working towards social justice due to negative emotions such as anger and fear. That is not what we woke folks want now, right?So how does one distinguish good positivity from toxic positivity? Here are some ways to recognize that your positivity has turned toxic:1) You avoid and run away from negative emotions - If you feel awkward whenever you feel sad, angry, scared, or jealous, and if you prefer to simply replace them with positive thoughts instead of "feeling it out", you need to watch out. In the wise words of my therapist, avoidance works, but only temporarily. Imagine shoving a ton of things into a tiny drawer to clean up a messy room. You can overstuff the drawer and shut it tight, but it will only be a while before the drawer bursts open and makes a bigger mess than before. Similarly, these emotions may go away temporarily through avoidance, but they can come back stronger or may even last longer.&nbsp;2) You try hard to find positives in every bad situation - Every cloud may not have a silver lining. Still, if you are persistent in finding one for the sake of staying optimistic, you're getting close to toxic positivity. Everybody goes through tough times, and it is only realistic to say that you cannot always find immediate positives.&nbsp;3) You guilt yourself and others for feeling negative emotions - Everyone has heard phrases like "just move on" or "don't be such a baby" or "be a man" (toxic masculinity alert!). These phrases not only dismiss negative emotions but also lack empathy and compassion. Humans often bond over negative emotions, experiences, and trauma and avoiding these can stop you from connecting with others.&nbsp;4) Overgeneralizing "it is what it is" - People often simplify the idea of stoicism and accept everything without feeling the right emotions for it. Maybe what you are going through is immutable, but that does not mean you don't acknowledge the emotions that come with it. Genuine acceptance can only come after you go through the tsunami of emotions caused by the trauma.&nbsp;5) Frequently minimizing your and other people's experiences - Saying things like "it could be a lot worse" or offering overly positive affirmations at a time of crisis is a telltale sign of toxic positivity. Everyone goes through unique experiences in life, and you cannot measure these emotions on a scale.<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.392732045901529551628072884675%2FTOXIC%20POSITIVITY_ShilpaSivadas_2.webp?alt=media&token=7093ff6c-567c-4276-9e5e-d4f173804cde" alt="" width="765" height="510" />It may almost sound like a lot of our supposedly positive habits are toxic, right? Does that make you a toxic person? Not if you are willing to acknowledge and change these habits. The key to changing these is simple - do not chase the emotions away. Make it a habit to feel every emotion, even the negative ones. Try to get through the feelings rather than getting over them. It is easier said than done, but it is worth the effort. You will notice that your negative emotions are short-lived, and you will feel liberated and recharged, just like you do after a good cry. When you genuinely experience every emotion, you will have a whole new perspective of real, unforced, and unfettered positivity.&nbsp;

Toxic Positivity – The Bad Side of “Being Too Positive”

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.0321242839774038561628072884185%2FLed%20Lighted%20Sun_MattheusBiermann_1.webp?alt=media&token=401251ed-e2fa-4375-84ed-ded865f7880c" alt="" /> Social media has an immense influence on the world. It is a gift, but that doesn&rsquo;t seem to be so self-evident. With the Greek myth of Icarus, it is possible to understand why the advantage of social media is not so clear and how we can use it for our benefit. The myth is one of the most famous ones telling the story of Daedalus and his son Icarus, both trapped in a maze until Daedalus, an ingenious craftsman, has the idea of creating wings out of feathers and wax. He successfully develops the wings. However, knowing the dangers of the same, the craftsman warns his son: &ldquo;Take the middle way because the moisture will weigh down your wings if you fly too low. But if you go too high, the sun will scorch them.&rdquo; Ignoring his father&rsquo;s warnings, blinded by the graciousness of flight, Icarus flew too close to the sun and fell to his death. Although the wings were well built, their poor use led to a tragedy. The same is true for social media. With the creation of a digital space where people from all around the world can interact, humanity should be connected and happier since we are social beings. However, this is not the case. The led lights on our smartphones are almost like the sun, shining bright and capturing our attention, falling in love with the notifications of someone liking our photos; we got addicted to the images and forgot the real purpose of those inventions.&nbsp; This forgetting is dangerous since a tool can become a weapon at the moment the purpose of it is changed. And with social media, the danger is the merchandising of happiness, as if while scrolling down or upon our phones, we may find sparks of joy. We do get those sparks. &nbsp;Harvard University researcher Trevor Haynes wrote an article exploring the relation between pumps of dopamine and several tools on the internet, such as posting a picture on Instagram and the notifications we receive on our smartphones. When an individual receives likes, the same is rewarded with a small dose of dopamine, reinforcing that behavior to be anxious if he doesn&rsquo;t receive the likes and &ldquo;happier&rdquo; if more people like the picture. That&rsquo;s basically how any drug works, with those pumps of dopamine reinforcing a habit, and for that matter, Social Media Addiction is a real and serious problem that requires attention. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.0321242839774038561628072884185%2FLed%20Lighted%20Sun_MattheusBiermann_2.webp?alt=media&token=e8be00cb-fa96-4513-adad-59cb2758a50b" alt="" width="763" height="486" /> The solution is not to abandon technology and return to a primitive state because that wouldn&rsquo;t be the middle way. It would be &ldquo;flying low&rdquo;, which can also be a problem. However, the understanding of the social media mechanisms is crucial to developing better use of the platforms. Most importantly, one must be cautious not to fly too high and fall for being blinded by the unreal, superficial, and addictive dangers that lurk in social media.

The Connection Between Social Media and Happiness

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.038609244985196911630871191338%2FThe%20Distance%20Embracing%20Model%20Of%20Art_2.webp?alt=media&token=85b20cb9-8d38-4ad6-afbb-327842803a74" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />Human beings have an inborn desire to express themselves. We as a species are curious, and one way to expand our need for curiosity is through the arts. Art reinforces our imagination and creativity. It enables us to dive deeper into the human consciousness. Art acts as a medium to express our desires and conflicts with a sense of wonder and fascination. It is a mechanism to negotiate with reality. An artist picks up a brush to make peace with their past and hope for a better future.Art makes our reality less ugly, for the colors fill our hearts and mind with a temporary sense of awe. Art keeps us afloat and acts as an emotional compass. Artworks serve as pieces of the puzzle for human existence.&nbsp;Art is a beautiful way of documenting reality, paired with creativity. Through art, we can travel through time and better understand the complexity of our past. Art creates a space where we can communicate with the artist, the creator, through expressions, in any form.&nbsp;Negative emotions are an essential resource for the arts. Negative emotions bring about intense involvement, high memorability and are influential in gripping our attention. Thus, they hold a special place in the memory of events in our life. A fine piece of art attempts to achieve the given characteristics. Thus, art that leads to negative emotions etches a saga in our memory.&nbsp;<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.038609244985196911630871191338%2FThe%20Distance%20Embracing%20Model%20Of%20Art_1.webp?alt=media&token=659d27f1-b221-4763-858d-1691751f8957" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />The theory of tragedy proposed by Aristotle states that the main aim of tragedy is to bring about a catharsis of spectators &mdash; to give rise to emotions of pity, fear, and hope. So that the spectators leave the theatre feeling cleansed and uplifted. Art is therapeutic. However, the theory of tragedy sounds like a profound contradiction because we want to be happy, right? We seek happiness in art. So why do art forms which lead to negative emotions move us? Since Greek and Latin antiquity, treatises on rhetoric and poetics widely assume that artworks compete for attention, intense emotional involvement, and high memorability (Lausberg 1998; Quintilian 1920). Recent psychological research has provided evidence that many negative emotions have a powerful grip on attention, are intensely felt, are less prone to fade or return to baseline level than positive emotions, and often have access to privileged storage in memory (Cacioppo &amp; Gardner 1999; Frijda 1988; Larsen &amp; Prizmic 2008; Musch &amp; Klauer 2003; Rozin &amp; Royzman 2001; Vaish et al. 2008). The formula "bad is stronger than good" (Baumeister et al. 2001) provocatively summarizes this line of research.&nbsp;The psychologist Winfried Menninghuas has offered the 'distance - embracing' model to explain why we love and appreciate art that brings about negative feelings. Art invites us to embrace our negative emotions. Through art, we learn to sit with the uncomfortable feelings which were unexpressed. Art unearths the feelings that reside in the hidden corners of our minds. Research into different types of pleasure has shown that intellectual and emotional pleasures (including those of art reception) routinely "encompass negative emotions like sadness &hellip; and positive emotions that entail complex appraisal" (Dub&eacute;&amp;LeBel2003,p.291; see also Berenbaum 2002). In contrast, physical pleasures tend to be least affected by concomitant negative emotions (Dub&eacute; &amp; Le Bel 2003).&nbsp;However, when we experience negative emotions while seeing any art form, we distance ourselves from these negative emotions and control them. Thus, through this process, we better understand ourselves and our unexpressed hidden self. Importantly, recent research has shown that chills and goosebumps in art contexts are physiological correlates of states of being emotionally moved (Benedek &amp; Kaernbach 2011; Wassiliwizky et al. 2015).Therefore, we can conclude that art is a way of stumbling on a truth. The fact that life consists of ingrained suffering. Yet, art preserves the pieces of humanity by acting as a mirror for humans. We resort to the idea of art when we experience sorrow. No matter how broken one is, art can mend and comfort even the torn souls.Art is mood, an emotion, a behavior because, through art, one discovers a medium of expression. It helps us connect with our deeper self and realize that true beauty exists in tragedy. Humans are an elegant tragedy, and art molds us into beings of higher consciousness.&nbsp;&nbsp;

The Distance Embracing Model Of Art

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.088762256553584831628072882401%2FThe%20Illusion%20of%20Happiness_AyushDubey_1.webp?alt=media&token=6b125df9-b06f-435c-8713-875570e3839e" alt="" width="764" height="509" />Human beings seek happiness, and the majority of the activity we perform is to achieve a certain amount of joy, be it in any form. For some people, the pursuit of happiness summarizes their existence. However, there are times when we think about what exactly we are trying to achieve when we talk about happiness.Everyone has different opinions about happiness. These differences make it challenging to explain happiness in a general, all-inclusive manner. There are times when the pursuit of happiness itself seems mundane, and this realization makes us feel delusional. Delusional because we realize that we have been dreaming of something so abstract and naive.Happiness is never an end in itself because the things that make us happy tell a lot about our nature itself. Therefore, we can use happiness to go within and think about the true nature of human existence. Happiness has its origin in struggle, and accepting this truth will save us from a lot of disappointment. The funny thing is that we desire happiness because we want to escape our sufferings. However, the condition of human beings is that first, we toil and then realize that we have to struggle some more, and from time to time, we are lucky enough to experience a momentary bliss as we go through life.When Camus said the struggle itself towards the height is enough to fill a man&rsquo;s heart, living this life alone is enough to make us feel fulfilled. However, the more we live and go through life, the more we realize that suffering is universal. Thus, our sole purpose must be to create subjective meaning and strive through struggle instead of longing for happiness.Subjective meaning is essential for happiness because having a personal purpose is a constructive illusion. It allows us to attach importance to our endless sufferings. We come to realize that our fate is tragic, and there&rsquo;s no one coming to rescue us. Yet we enjoy our severe hardship, for the fruits of our agony are in the form of happiness. This realization makes us feel fulfilled even for a brief period, and if true happiness does exist, it is in this realization. Because of this reason, all of us occupy ourselves. We do it to fill the eternal void in our life. The more we indulge in meaningful activities, the more we realize that every instance of our life can form meaning in itself if we let it.&nbsp;Thus, going through these petty days makes us realise that happiness was never and will never be a destination in the end. It is instead a path, a journey, and being alive with a crippling sense of absurdity is a task and a reward in itself. The reason being that life justifies itself, and one can only understand this as one lives through the questions and the daily struggle. At the same time, discovering something sustainable will kindle hope for us and others around them, even for a brief time. Happiness follows when we realize that joy and absurdity are inseparable.We indeed use our future to escape our present. We live in those moments where we find peace; it can be in the form of living the memories or dreaming about the future. So one needs a standpoint about where one&rsquo;s existence is heading, and that abstract, hopeful idea can inspire us. So if we continue to strive for meaning that we find sustainable despite the realization that we shall cease to exist in the end, we are no less than gods, for we are truly conscious of our fate and our existence.&nbsp;Thus, happiness is an illusion. We constantly misinterpret the root essence of happiness, and it isn&rsquo;t something to be locked inside a vault or something which will stay with us forever. We cannot pursue happiness, and the more we seek it, the more it feels like sand in our palms. On the other hand, we must commit to a cause that we find meaningful and sustain ourselves and others around us. Use the absurdity of your existence to honor your sufferings and embrace the existential dread which arises in the form of existential agony. We are the modern Sisyphus.&nbsp;

The Illusion of Happiness

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.048438063517993961630902440187%2FProcrastination_1.webp?alt=media&token=8f9134e8-755b-402a-b71f-653b2809f51f" alt="File preview" width="400" height="601" />There are times when staring at a blank wall is interesting. And mostly, these are times when your desk nearby with its papers, sticky notes, and laptop screams for your attention. As much as you want to sit staring at the wall, which is not even the part with the pictures on it, but just white paint, your desk won&rsquo;t let you grant its opponent all the attention you wish to. You keep denying your desk&rsquo;s call, but you also don&rsquo;t feel so good about your response. It drives you into a battle between the rebel in you not wanting to sit at the desk for work vs the work itself. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s okay. Everybody procrastinates&rdquo;, you would think as you turn your eyes back at the wall.&nbsp;The term procrastination has been so often used for any scenario where critical work is not given enough importance that it has become a metonym for laziness. We closely associate it with one&rsquo;s inability to manage time, lack of willpower, and the like. But is it the paucity of your time management skills that keeps you hanging indefinitely between responsibility and your action? Procrastination indeed looks like a regulation issue. But what if it isn&rsquo;t about the regulation of time but of your emotions instead?Tim Pychyl, an associate professor of psychology at Carleton University, believes that &ldquo;Procrastination is not a time-management problem, it&rsquo;s an emotion-management problem.&rdquo; In his book &lsquo;Solving the Procrastination Puzzle,&rsquo; he defines procrastination as &ldquo;a voluntary delay of an intended act despite the knowledge that this delay may harm us.&rdquo; As much clarity and truth it holds, this very definition is also one of something that is against human nature. We are inclined to seek satisfaction and happiness and perform deeds that bring us closer to these. Why would you sense danger and still choose to delay your tasks if ticking them off your list is what would make you happy? There could be times where even after allotting a specific slot of your day for a task, you do not find yourself doing it very efficiently.Though time management plays a crucial role in meeting deadlines, it is not the only reason someone slacks off. When properly looked into, procrastination doesn&rsquo;t look like a problem with your time management. Instead, it seems like an emotion-focused coping strategy, wherein your inner critic comes into play. Self-judgment naturally follows, but you should channel it tastefully such that you move forward, offering self-compassion rather than questioning your abilities and sinking in guilt.As Pychyl says, &ldquo;to the extent that I can deal with my emotions, I can stay on task,&rdquo; handling your emotions is essential for working, regardless of how petty it sounds.Gathering ideas to overcome procrastination often results in rumination and self-loathing, taking us further away from the solution. But what is &lsquo;the&rsquo; solution? It is unreasonable to expect to find a single solution to such a complex issue as procrastination. The cause and resolution are not the same for everyone. What could be possible reasons behind this issue that becomes a &lsquo;suffering&rsquo; in the long run?<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.048438063517993961630902440187%2FProcrastination_2.webp?alt=media&token=569ee435-64b8-4434-969a-19d1fe29692b" alt="File preview" width="739" height="492" />Another psychologist named Piers Steel from the University of Calgary wrote a paper called &lsquo;The Nature of Procrastination: A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review of Quintessential Self-Regulatory Failure&rsquo;, wherein he reported four major possible causes of procrastination:i) Low Self Confidence: Your willingness to do a task is likely to drop if you are not confident enough about the process and outcome. Being afraid of your inability to meet your expectations and those from others is a cue for your procrastination to rise. Reduce negative self-talk, as this will add layers to your anxiety. Forgive yourself if you make mistakes, but more importantly, appreciate yourself for every move you make.ii) Pleasure derived from the task: It's less probable that you&rsquo;ll delay a task if it's exciting or rewarding enough. The boredom associated with the task plays a higher role than its difficulty in foreseeing the level of procrastination. When you don&rsquo;t feel like working on something, try to find what could be holding you back. Face your negative thoughts related to the task at hand, don&rsquo;t try to run away.iii) Distractibility: Sometimes, it could be that you want to finish a task, but your environment hinders your focus and forces you to do otherwise. Putting away things that are likely to distract you and finding a new domain or modifying your present one to suit yourself will help you stay focused on completing the task.iv) Relaxed deadlines: It's pretty natural to want to take more leisure time before starting a task when you know there is enough time to do it. Doing so might be helpful to relax if carefully worked on, but procrastination usually takes over, dominates, and makes you haste in the last moment. To manage a distant deadline, break it down into smaller deadlines and tackle them every day. Train yourself to finish the work first, and enjoy the remaining time as leisurely as you want.Other factors like denial of consequences and rebelliousness do support these causes.Bringing in some math to his theory, Steel has put the above coworking factors in the form of an equation. The product of your self-confidence and the pleasure from the task, divided by the product of your distractibility and time till deadline, gives your chances of not procrastinating on your task. In simpler terms, the first two factors need to be increased, while the latter two need to be decreased to improve your productivity.People procrastinate differently. The key is to identify your vulnerability and work on it. Hence, this equation can only be used as a guide and not as the final solution to solve the issue. Keep tuning these factors and the others that support them until you are satisfied with the level of mental and situational comfort.Do not see procrastination as a personality problem. It is only an inner critic trying to talk to you. So listen, and communicate through actions!

Procrastination - What is it trying to tell you?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.52485430586477431631036480229%2F4ec66f95-1f32-48ae-b199-3932d03a2afd.webp?alt=media&token=e0c4b6a0-2fec-46ae-9505-ffff84cfb689" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" /> People have always equated romantic relationships to monogamy. They consider love as a feeling that occurs between no more than two people. When a person argues to be in love with more than one person, we tend to brush these feelings off as a crush or an infatuation. But this is not always true. What if you love more than one person equally and passionately? If love is a choice, why can't we choose to love two people equally? Also, is loving your partners equally possible or even necessary? Love is a complicated emotion. A person typically loves more than one person in their lifetime, including their parents, siblings, pets, and friends among others. You are also attracted to more than one person at a time. But to understand whether you can love more than one person, the key is to distinguish love from attraction. When you are attracted to someone, your body goes through a series of chemical reactions that result in a powerful yet temporary sense of connection. Love is different because it takes time to develop and lasts longer. Upon understanding the difference between genuine love and attraction, we look at the idea of being in love with two people simultaneously. Falling in love with two people is not easy; it requires immense patience and investment. However, several experienced individuals have stated that it is certainly possible. You can fall in love with two people for entirely different reasons, and both these reasons could be equally valid. You fall in love with one person for the way you get adventurous with them, and you love another person for the way you feel safe around them. With both of them, your brain releases hormones that make you fall in love. Ultimately, love is a choice at some point. For the same reason, you will have to choose the next step by considering the various factors at play.&nbsp; Assume you are in a polyamorous relationship. It is commendable if one does manage an arrangement that allows a happy polyamorous relationship. But is it possible to love both/all partners equally? More importantly, is it necessary? Let us look at a polyamorous relationship where a person has two partners. The person can surely love both partners equally. If love is a choice, we can choose how to love our partners. But if you examine the emotions involved while falling in love, this statement may not hold because, well, emotions are uncontrollable.. But why is it necessary to love both partners equally? It isn't. Loving two people in an equal sense would mean offering the same things to both partners or doing everything twice. Doing this is not only impractical but also unnecessary. Equity is what matters in such relationships. Both the partners may need entirely different things from you.&nbsp; One partner may require a lot of alone time, while the other would love to spend most of their spare time with you. In such a case, spending more time with the latter does not mean you love them more, but you provide both the partners with what they need. One partner may want to trek with you, while the other prefers spending time indoors. Having a stay-cation with the former and a long trek with the latter would only result in two overwhelmed and annoyed partners. Thus, equity needs to be established in such relationships, and not equality. Every relationship is distinct and this is true even with polyamorous relationships. You will deal with two distinct people with various needs and preferences. Take the example of your parents; you loved them both equally, but they both had different expectations from you. Applying numbers to relationships may not be the wisest choice in polyamory. "Equity, not equality" is the way to go with these relationships to keep everyone happy.&nbsp;

The Why's and How's of Loving Two People Equally

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.84000070748493851631036143223%2FCAN%20BUYING%20THINGS%20REALLY%20MAKE%20YOU%20HAPPY_1.webp?alt=media&token=5bafadf1-5db3-4bc5-b2f6-2e6a7c364b21" alt="File preview" width="701" height="408" />Try this brief experiment the next time you watch TV. Look at the advertisements when they appear, and notice how almost every ad tries to convince you that buying and using those products would make you happier instantly. Be it the ad for your regular toothpaste, a bar of candy, or even a high-end SUV, it all revolves around making consumers happy. Of course, this is not a very surprising or new fact; capitalism has almost always revolved around selling the idea of happiness, and we cannot blame these brands. Humans have, after all, been obsessed with the concept of happiness since time immemorial. But here is the real question- does buying these products truly make you happy?&nbsp;It is a widespread notion that being materialistic and buying things will not make one happy, and even if it did, it would only be temporary. However, studies have proven that experiences make you more content than purchasing goods. Renowned psychologists Leaf Van Boven and Thomas Gilovich established in 2010 that they suffer from buyer's remorse when people buy things. During or after purchasing, individuals gravitate towards comparing their possessions to those of others. People get used to their products and lose their enthusiasm eventually, only to move on to whatever else makes them happy. The study participants also claimed that experiences made them feel content, as their effects last longer and are harder to compare to those of others. Think about it; even when you buy things, it is often the entire experience of possession that makes you feel elated rather than simply owning the object.&nbsp;<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.84000070748493851631036143223%2FCAN%20BUYING%20THINGS%20REALLY%20MAKE%20YOU%20HAPPY_2.webp?alt=media&token=65db495c-a3b2-4add-862b-3a6a9539070d" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />But hold on before the minimalist in you exclaims, "money can't buy happiness". A recent contrasting study has proven that buying things that match your personality would indeed make you happy. Let me elaborate with a personal example. Few things excite me more than buying new clothes, whereas I care little about electronic gadgets. A tech geek would be thrilled to invest in a new gadget, but buying new clothes means nothing to him. We would not just enjoy owning these products but would also enjoy the experience of purchasing them.&nbsp;So which of these studies is, in fact, correct? Well, we won't know for sure, but there is a middle-ground for those who wish to have both objects and experiences. A study published in 2014 explained that "experiential purchases'' or products that offer consumers an experience were just as good as gaining contentment from life experiences. These could also be products that help you express yourself freely or facilitate creativity. I enjoy buying items such as paints, sketchbooks, and tools that help me create art. But to me, these count as both experiences and purchases. In conclusion, whether you prefer buying products over enjoying experiences is contingent on your personality. Every individual values a particular type of happiness more than others, and there is no right or wrong in either of these.&nbsp;References-<ol> <li> Stigmatizing Materialism: On Stereotypes and Impressions of Materialistic and Experiential Pursuits, Leaf Van Boven, Margaret C. Campbell, Thomas Gilovich, First Published April 2, 2010</li> <li> Money Buys Happiness When Spending Fits Our Personality, Sandra C. Matz, Joe J. Gladstone, and David Stillwell, Department of Psychology, University of Cambridge, and Cambridge Judge Business School, University of Cambridge</li> <li> To have in order to do: Exploring the effects of consuming experiential products on well-being, Darwin A. Guevarra, Ryan T. Howell, Department of Psychology, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, USA b Department of Psychology, San Francisco State University, San Francisco, CA, USA</li></ol>

Can Buying Things Really Make You Happy?

<img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.7928762051668031631036323697%2FLOVE%20A%20CAREFUL%20CHOICE%20OR%20AN%20UNCONTROLLABLE%20EMOTION_1.webp?alt=media&token=9d319240-a5ea-4f70-bb9c-1222231fb7f0" alt="File preview" width="700" height="466" />Friedrich Nietzsche quoted once, "There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." Love. Some call it a mere chemical reaction, while some prefer being more hearts-and-flowers with the definition. Others may even call it a daunting mission that sucks the life out of them. But I am not here to define love; as it is not as simple as people try to make it. What intrigued me was this question- is love a conscious choice or an uncontrollable feeling? Post hours of research and intense contemplation, here's what I discovered.Falling in love is easy; it happens almost so inadvertently that it requires little effort. New relationships are rosy and joyful, and people constantly think about their partners and wish to spend time with them. However, this "honeymoon phase" fades, leaving people questioning their relationships and chemistry. That is when the question of love being a choice or a feeling surfaces.&nbsp;First, let us look at love as a feeling. After all, you "feel" something from within during those first few interactions. The butterflies in your stomach, the daydreaming, and that rush when you see them- those are all beautiful feelings and seldom conscious choices. But feelings usually fade, and this stands true for relationships. Such sentiments are unreliable and transient, and their retreat causes doubts and distress. These feelings also leave people stuck in toxic relationships and prevent them from quitting damaging bonds. Ask any couple who has been together for a few decades, and they will confirm that it isn't just "feelings" that kept them together. <img src="https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/creed-community.appspot.com/o/images%2F0.7928762051668031631036323697%2FLOVE%20A%20CAREFUL%20CHOICE%20OR%20AN%20UNCONTROLLABLE%20EMOTION_2.webp?alt=media&token=056cec42-2e49-460f-8dc4-c0932224b59f" alt="File preview" width="701" height="468" />Then why do people believe that love is a choice? People choose to continue loving their partners. They are determined to look beyond or accept their partner's flaws. They make up their minds to love their better half every day, regardless of their feelings. But seeing love as a choice isn't always ideal. Humans need their choices and decisions to be right all the time. They think that their partners should also "choose" to be perfect, as everything is ultimately a choice. However, with matters of the heart, things aren't that simple. It is almost as unrealistic as telling someone to "chill" and them chilling instantly.&nbsp;Seeing love as merely a choice also invalidates the struggles of those stuck in toxic or abusive relationships. People look at an abusive relationship and question the victim for not ending things, as it is ultimately their choice. Individuals in such relationships are often trapped in a web of manipulation, lies, and fear. They also suffer from low self-esteem and loneliness. In some cultures, they may maintain such relationships because of the involvement of families. An influential psychological phenomenon to be considered in such relationships is intermittent reinforcement. A reward is offered by the abuser whenever the individual performs a desired activity, but only sometimes. The desire for this reward makes the person desperately repeat these activities, hoping to get rewarded with love, attention, or whatever they want. This action-reward system gets so hard-wired into the brain that people get addicted to the relationship, leaving them stuck in the circle of abuse. In such cases, it is rarely about love, let alone it being a feeling or a choice.&nbsp;So what exactly is love? Love is a skill. One that everyone can learn, and some can outclass. Being considerate, patient, kind, mindful, and supportive simultaneously requires expertise. We cannot grasp these effortlessly, like any other skill. It takes years of learning and experience to master this skill. This skill is crucial not only to continue loving someone but also to know when to stop loving someone. Knowing when to leave a relationship is an important element to this skill, one that could save you pain and trauma. When you perfect this art, you can better understand people and their circumstances to make smarter decisions. This understanding helps one differentiate a good relationship or feeling from a toxic one. Love is both a feeling and a choice at some point, but it has to be a skill for it to live long and be fruitful. Thus, the goal should be to gain expertise in this skill, not categorize it as a choice or feeling.

What do think about this idea?

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